A prankster has caused a stir in the Chelsea changing room by sneaking in and slashing holes in the players' designer underwear. Now this is the kind of action I'm talking about. Frank Lampard in the buff, yes please.

The serial joker has apparently struck several times at the Cobham Training Complex over the past year.

The mystery slasher who is thought to be a Chelsea player has been said to strike twice a week according to a report in the News Of The World.

Chelsea and England midfielder and a future husband of mine Mr F Lampard said, "It's gone on for about a year. We get in to find the bum cheeks cut out of our underpants, it has to be one of the players. They are the only ones with access. You might get two hits in a week, then he won't attack for a month or so."

Perhaps next the suspect will start hacking the ball bags too, there's only so much action a man could possibly take up the rear surely!