Gary Neville: A Man Of Pure Genius?

Naaaaaah course not, do behave! More like a run down 'profesional' football player who has long had his day as United's second longest serving player (behind the legend that is, the one and only Ryan Giggs) and has finally realised the obvious more like.

It seems dear old Neville the 2nd here decided to drown his sorrows (perhaps at the realisation he has had his day) and opted to hit his local boozer the night before a game. Fortunately enough as a 'fan' found out Fergie hadn't picked him so off course, he was free to roam the wilderness and perhaps weigh up his options after he was heard saying, “I’m not playing.” And when asked why, he said: “Not been picked. I was all right ten years ago but I’m rubbish now.” Pure modesty if I ever did hear it that.

OI OI THE LADS!

All those years at United aye and he just regards himself as "Orite" back in the day that says a lot, doesn't it? I have never been keen on him despite being a huge Manchester United fan of the 90's and quite frankly I couldn't care if he isn't played again. I will give him credit for his service to the club since he was a youngen but he really is, in the words of a close friend, "One of those annoying poo's, you know the ones that just cling on." Ill leave it at that.

Straight Out Of YMCA (Well, Near Enough)

It’s a rainy day in Brighton, East Sussex and proudly sits a man resembling an extra from the cult classic YMCA music video. How ever, you would be mistaken in thinking this (if your brain functions anything like mine) especially with the stereotypes my adopted home town faces and the denotations the town provokes.

It is in fact, beyond the builder attire one of Brighton’s (if not League One and beyond) finest players Kazenga LuaLua on the building site of Brighton's 'American Express Community Stadium' with his recently awarded , ‘October Young Player of the Month Award’ for the entire Football League.

After a successful loan spell with The Seagulls last season the back flipping boy wonder (at the tender age of 19) is proving a wizard beyond his years with his handy work in the ball department proven most recently against Charlton and Bournemouth with those long range strikes of his is set for an extremely exciting and successful future (hopefully before he, like most good players the Albion nurture) gets shipped off to a higher league.

LuaLua said on receiving the prestigious award (awarded each month to the young player who has made the most significant contribution and impact in first team football under 21 years of age), “The teams been doing well and everyone’s buzzing, I’ve really enjoyed my second spell at Brighton.”

Let’s just hope our favourite treacle of the season is back to his best after his 10 week recovery from a broken ankle. Owey wowey get well soon!

THE ORIGINAL CLASSIC

Ball's Up Ballantyne

...and were not talking balls on the pitch. Dear old Jim Ballantyne, chairman of Airdrie United FC made a severe cock up of the clubs remembrance programme by choosing a some what insulting image of Nazi soldiers on the front of their Remembrance Day match programme.

Jimmy boy said on the clubs website, "The original match sponsor for the game was Network Rail so I decided to base our Remembrance programme images on wartime trains. A number of photos were considered and when the final choice was made, the wrong image was lifted which was almost identical to the one that I had selected. Unfortunately it showed German soldiers instead of allied troops with the nurses."

Whether or not there was another photo that shared similarity really existed we will never know but what an embarrassment for the club who have already suffered a considerable amount of bad press they indirectly received as a result of the financial demise of the old Airdrieonians FC.

The image shows German WW2 servicemen receiving gifts from sympathisers as they headed into battle. I'm afraid Jim sympathy is some thing the majority will not be feeling. Perhaps go and give that bald head of yours a wobble, lest we forget and what not aye luv.

Battle Of The Bitches...

It's that time of year again, yes derby day for the infamous rivalry that as ever fuels the passions of United and City fans across the land from the heart of Manchester to the exotic continents of Asia and beyond.

WHERE THE POCKET MONEY WENT

Now, I will be the first to admit if some one asked me who I supported these days it would have to be a toss up between Palace and Brighton as the old 'Man U till I die' mentality I had as a kid relegated itself from my heart to a less passionate location, my bowels.

LEGEND

The reason for this mainly comes down to the fact that over the years the Manchester United I grew to love in the 90's began to die with personalities such as my all time favorite player and part time kung fu fighter Eric Cantona leaving to name a few.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

I'm sure any United fan would admit the spirit and charisma that surrounded the United of the 90's no longer exists. No player on the squad these days baring Giggs and the odd exception can compete with the likes of Schmeichel, Solskjaer, Beckham, Irwin etc. As a team United back then couldn't be beat.

£8 MILL - WHAT IT TAKES TO GET A SMILE ON ROOS FACE

Back then it was all about the football but these days as the likes of the ever popular Wayne 'I get paid £8mill a year to take holidays and bash balls in any goal that isn't on the pitch' Rooney has proved money, women (hookers) and fame seem to be the main priority of today's young footballers and unfortunately for United the main news coverage they have had this year is negative. Far from the Glory days when United were unstoppable aye.

NOTHING BETTER TO DO ON A MATCH DAY THEN FERGS?

As much as I rate Fergie as a manager his general miserable persona that he has built up over the years doesn't provoke much enthusiasm to cheer on the Reds especially with the lets go beyond club banter and bitch about our rival clubs.I know a lot of managers do this but I would expect better from a man such as Sir Alex.

Ahead of tonight's game Fergie said, "City are all mouth and no trophies", which as their history proves is true as the last trophy they won was in 1976. I wouldn't be surprised if City's wealth rubs salt in the wounds for the man who once had money at his finger tips since City became the richest club in the world at the hands and wealth of Sheikh Mansour, having already spent £320million on players to compete with the likes of United.

To add fuel to the flame there was off course the Tevez poaching scenario Fergie had to deal with and that controversial poster campaign plastered on bill boards across Manchester involving Tevez to welcome him to Manchester that portrayed the club as the real and first team of Manchester.

This off course didn't go down well in the Devils Den with Fergie saying, “I said it at the time that I thought it was stupid and they probably think that now. I think it was probably worthwhile for maybe some of their supporters, but not all of them. Others will have been embarrassed by it.”

I myself would rather see taunts like this then bitching in the press if only all the other clubs became this creative aye.

AHH, WHO'S A CUTE OLD MAN THEN

As for Mancini I must say he is a good bit of talent in terms of looks (as far as the older man goes) and off course the ability to manage and lead a team to success as he is so far proving with the progress he has made since being with City.

He was quoted saying, Not just United, but all the clubs must respect the players and the history of City.” “In the last years, City haven’t won anything, but they have a good history."

“We have respect for United and we want them to have it for us always. The number of trophies [a team has or hasn’t won] isn’t important. Respect is more important."

Ah isn't that lovely Mancini, I'm sure after hearing that Man City and United fans will kiss and make up and live happily ever after in la la land.

DE JONG DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST

As for who will win tonight I'm predicting it will be 2-1 either way but if one of my favorite rejects from the 'Vinnie Jones School of Hard knocks' De Jongs words are to go by United are in for a challenge...

“The West Brom result proved that we are still a strong side. The confidence is there in the players and the staff and we are still sticking together as a team. The result has given us great confidence going into the next game."

Now I could go on to the history of the rivals but that would involve a lot of research which would be endless so lets end it on may the best man win and may the Police of Manchester have a lovely night having already had a busy morning dealing with an arson attack of United slogans on the walls of Mary D's bar, a home from home for City fans on match days.



UTD FANS PUSHING THEIR LUCK?

One of the slogans that seems to have touched a nerve is that aimed at late City midfielder Marv-Vivien Foe who played in both derbies during the 2002/03 season before his death from a hereditary heart condition during a Confederations Cup semi-final in June 2003. It seems fans of both clubs have had their fare share of being accused of being disrespectful to the dead with complaints that the pub in question celebrated the death of one of Uniteds finest, Georgie Best as well as continuosly chant about the Munich Air Disaster that hit United in the late 50's claiming the lives of players and journalists on board.

The rivalry between the clubs has lasted more then 100 years and no doubt it will continue for time to come.

Tot Ziens Luv!

Unfortunately for Palace former Holland World Cup midfielder Edgar Davids has decided to call it a day and quit by mutual consent after less than three months with the club. I said from the start this relationship wasn't going to last from problems with his trademark glasses falling off, to relocating to an area of South London that doesn't quite live up to the lavish name of its club. Edgar to Palace is like the dream man/woman you let get away. Why Palace didn't make the most of him being at the club I don't know even if he is half the player he used to be in his some what old age.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS AYE EDGAR

When I heard the news such a legend was coming over I thought it was perhaps another rumor, just like the news P-Diddy was going to invest in the club. Unlike Diddy though Edgar did arrive on a pay-as-you-play deal in August but only made appearances in seven games. No doubt this is not what the poor chap was hoping for when lowering his standards and relegating himself from playing for the likes of Inter & AC Milan to Barcelona. After all the man has a CV any pro footballer would be envious of.

Davids was quoted saying, "I have decided that my journey as a player at Crystal Palace has come to an end."I want to thank all the people who supported me and gave me one of the greatest experiences of my life." What was that 'great experience' then dear? The excellent jerk chicken you can buy in Thornton Heath or living in a lovely area of South London playing for one of the finest football teams the south has to offer?

All I can say is, 'Tots Zien ' luv-in other words see you later...All good things must come to an end and what not it happens to the best of us.

Rooney Loves It In Warm Beaver(ton)

Oh Rooney, as if a two week break in a luxury hotel in Dubai wasn't enough United have now decided to send you packing across the pond to Beaverton (Oregan) the good old USA. Is this what happens when you get a huge pay rise then?

It seems the Reds want him in tip top shape and by sending him to the world famous Nike World HQ in an attempt to put the young chap back on track is their answer.

However, despite the high tech equipment the facility boasts with some of the finest muscle motivating sources in the land, the area is more commonly know for fine equipment in the form of scantily clad/naked young strippers that dominate the streets around then for the Nike Head Quarters.

Now, with Wayne Rooney's history for chasing totty around in the form of OAP slappers or young tarts if I was Colleen I would sure as hell not be happy. What young lad would not take advantage of being in Americas strip club capital? I'm sure if I had some thing hanging at the other end I would be making the most of it.

United's assistant boss Mike Phelan said prior to his departure: "We just thought it might be in the interests of him and the club to have a change of scenery for a little while"...in other words every one is fed up of him and his spoilt diva demands then no doubt.

Frank Lampard was recently quoted saying Rooney is a "Sensitive lad", as if. It seems the only person he is sensitive towards is himself with the headlines he’s been in this year and the amount of sun cream he dollops on his face. I think my future husband Lampard may have been confused with the word 'stupid' in Rooney’s case.

GOT ENOUGH ON THERE DEAR?( LETS HOPE HE ALWAYS USES THIS MUCH PROTECTION AYE)

As mentioned in previous blogs, I don't think this lad is worthy of his dramatic pay rise and hasn't been on form long before the world cup. The only time I’ve seen him score is on Fifa, just a shame that virtual isn't reality in this case aye.

Well worth the pay rise then lad. £8mill a year and so far all he’s done is live it up in warm climates around the world that must of us could only dream of affording to go to. Lets hope the Beaver brings the best out of him and the next time he features in Gash On Goals its on a positive note!

PARADING THE GOODS