"Just Do It" Again & Er...Again

"Just Do It" Mr Nike said to Mr Roo... just a shame he took the moto literally and did do it, yet again might I add. I suppose from what I have seen of the tart in question his standards have gone up from the days of paying 48 year old women for their "services". Here he is all done up as the patriotic representation of the England football team for another highly paid Nike Advert covered in body paint spread (no doubt some what how he could have looked Sunday morning after Mrs Rooney got her hands on him).

Hearing another England player has played the field in more ways then one yet again comes as not surprise. Once a cheat always a cheat, but to do it when your first fledgling is on its way takes the chocolate bits out of the cookie even more. There was a time believe it or not when footballers were just sportsmen, not gash eating machines.

I know footballers have women throwing themselves at them even if they are as uneasy on the eye as Rooney but come on now chaps keep your peckers in your pants. No doubt women as beautiful as Cheryl Tweedy and Abbey Clancy have men dropping at their feet every minute their out in the wild jungle you predators lure but you don't see them spreading their legs to unleash the gash at every opportunity. So Abs, get those drinks down your neck if your staying with the Lurch and Chez, thumbs up to you for divorcing the twat that is Ashley Cole. Its just a shame the rest of the herd haven't followed in your foot steps.

Good on you Tweed!

On a brighter note here are some jokes compiled by the lovely people at the Mirror Football.

* Jenny Thompson wasn't keen on sex with Wayne Rooney. She said it was ogre rated.

* Coleen says their marriage is ruined. In fact, it's completely Shrecked.

* Rooney has released a statement to the media reading: "Who says I couldn't score in a brothel now, eh?"

* How can you tell the Rooneys apart? One's dirty, the other's Coleen.

* Wayne Rooney's been told to take a long look at himself in the mirror. Like that's going to cheer him up.

* This isn't quite what Sir Alex had in mind when he told Wayne to start banging them in again.

* Some of Wayne Rooney's sponsors are sticking by him. Spokesmen from Durex, Yellow Pages and Travelodge insisted he'd done absolutely nothing wrong.

* Coleen will have Rooney followed everywhere from now on. It's the WAG tailing the dog.

* No-one is saying Wayne Rooney's obsessed with sex, but he's been asking team-mates if Swiss cheese is the one with the holes in it.

* Poor Wayne Rooney. He hired a stripper from the Yellow Pages and someone came round and took off all his wallpaper.

* Shrek 4's plotline is going to be interesting now, isn't it?

* Wayne Rooney's been arrested for shoplifting a packet of Cherry Bakewells. He explained to police that he'd promised Coleen never to pay for another tart again.

YOUR NOT LAUGHING ANY MORE!